Irony On Fire
by Collision
Summary: It's up to the team of SSX Tricky to go focus group mode and think of a way to pull in more public.  humerous/comedy  language oh and excuse the terrible grammer and writing style.i wanted to keep it as close to the original as possible.
1. Chapter 1

(excuse the extremely poor writing style. This story was taken down before because it was written like a script so I changed it so I could repost it. Enjoy )

Rahzel sat patiently in front of the whole SSX tricky circuit. Eyeing them. Just staring ever so intently…

Elise asked, "What the hell are you looking at?"

Rahzel annouced, "Ok so now that you losers are back, maybe now we can actually pull in new viewers. And the board has decided to leave all of you in the same room for 'X' amount of hours to decide how ok?"

Rahzel leaves.

Eddie asked, "Like, what are we doing here again?"

Zoe said, "We have to figure out some kind of publicity stunt to pull in new kinds of audience."

Moby said, "I say all the girls except for Mac snowboard naked!"

Moby and Psymon highfive.

Mac said, "Hey I ain't a girl dawg! Forreal!"

Seeiah said, "Ahem White!"

Mac said, "Sorry girl… But I'm about to give those two a Mac Smackdown!"

Psymon asked, "What was that? A Mac bitchslap?"

Elise said, "How about we actually think of something so we can leave, Marisol's stench is getting me light headed." 

Marisol **mocked,** "O haha your such a fat conceited ugly slut. I mean comedian."

Zoe said, "This is never gunna' end… Hey stop steeling shit!"

Moby and Psymon drop a statue as it shatters. Moby lifts the rug as Psymon pushing it under with his foot.

Luther said, "Maybe if Mac here wasn't such a pansy chump maybe we'd be outta here by now."

Mac said, "Yo forreal shut up, I didn't even say anything you fat ogre, Imma' give you a Mac smackdown!"

Zoe said, "Mac give it a rest!"

Eddie said, "Hey lady, don't like, tell Mac what to do….um…"

Zoe said, "Zoe."

Eddie said, "Right Zelda."

Luther said, "Dangit, I never got me a dandy little smackdown."

J.P. said, "Then do somzing about it fatty…"

J.p. continues to look in the mirror plucking his eyebrows as Luther runs… wobbles quickly to a corner and starts crying.

Kaori asked, "You should go make the fat one happy yes? Luther is your best friend right?"

J.P. asked, "Who?"

Elise interrupted, "Anyway! What are we gunna' do?"

Seeiah said, "Well being a picture whore ain't helpin' none."

Elise poses for a picture she takes on her camera phone.

Elise screamed, "IT'S FOR MY FACEBOOK YOU BALD BITCH!"

Marisol whispered to Seeiah**,** "She's addicted…"

Elise takes off her shoe and throws it… it never came back down.

Kaori said, "You suck hehehe"

Zoe paces back and forth about to scream then trips over a meditating Brodi and hits a wall.

Zoe said, "Ow…."

Moby and Psymon mocked in girly voice**, "**_Ow."_

Zoe yelled, "Shut up!"

Moby and Psymon mocked again, "_Shut up."_

Zoe yelled, "Fuck you!"

Moby and Psymon still mocked in a girly voice, "_Fuck you!"_

A left stiletto high heel shoe flies out of nowhere and hits Moby in face.

Moby shouted, "O God my eye!"

Psymon laughed, "Hahahaha"

Off in the distance someone yells, "Hold out your stockings kids!"

Everyone asked, "wtf?"

Tirds drop from the chimney into the fire.

Eddie yelled, "Holly crap! Hey Zoro close Marisols legs!"

Zoe yelled back, "It's Zoe damn it!"

Luther runs over to the fireplace and pees in it. Fire ignites even more and everything starts to catch on fire which it weird because that shouldn't have happened.

Psymon grabs Kaori throws her through a window. The window shatters. Then he walks over to the front door and walks out.

Everybody files out except for Brodi. Mac does a headcount.

Mac counted, "Yo, forreal, we be missin' someone forreal."

Psymon said, "Good job eagle eye…"

Seeiah slaps Mac in the face**, **"WHITE!"

Brodi finally emerges from the flames.

Brodi shouted, "I've been enlightened!"

J.P. said, "No kidding…"

Brodi realizes his crotch is in flames and starts run around madly screaming like a little woman.

Rahzel comes around the corner zipping up his pants.

Rahzel asked, "What the hell happened?"

Brodi runs by screaming. Elsie trips Brodi. He lands in snow and the fire is put out.

Rahzel asked, "Well did you think of anything yet?"

Marisol said, "Hell no."

The lodge is now completely engulfed in flames and now Luther fat ass has cought on fire.

Psymon pointed out, "Dude your ass is on fire."

Luther said, "I gotta burp," instead he farts, "Oops wrong way."

Little flames shoot out. So he stands next to Brodi and farts again setting Brodi's crotch on fire again.

Brodi screamed, "AHHHHHHHHHH!WHY!"

Moby laughed, "Hahaha," and then a flying left stiletto shoe hits him in the head again**, "**Ow! Where the bloody hell are these shoes coming from?"


	2. Chapter 2

[A/N: Some scenes were taken from cartoons. Not exactly but general ideas. Then I took the joke to the next level. Lol.]

[and again please excuse the horrible grammar and writing style, I know it sucks but its just so I can post it as close to the original as possible.]

Rahzell announced, "Ok so now that we're in our new lodge you guys can now decide what your going to do for a publicity stunt…I mean … publicity stunt."

Rahzell exits.

Psymon begins to chase Kaori around the room with a hotdog.

Elise muttered, "God damn it I'm stuck with you assholes again…"

Brodi runs by, crotch in flames.

Zoesaid, "Ok how about we throw Psymon off a cliff or something."

Psymon said, "… Ok!"

Moby suggested, "No we something more… I don't know…flashy?"

Psymon said, "Set me on fire. That should grab someones attention."

Seeiah asked, "Hey J.P. why don't you contribute huh? Who you textin' anyway?"

J.P. replied, "Idk my b.f.f. Jill."

Luther cried, "Dang it I thought I was your b.f.f.?"

Luther quickly wobbles to another corner and begins to cry.

Moby said, "I say we throw the whole circuit off the cliff."

Psymon asked, "Dude is that a shoe in your hair?"

Moby yelled, "DAMN!"

Eddie exclaimed, "Wow, everything is like moving Zahara!"

Zoe said, "My name is Zoe you drug addict…"

Psymon sat up in his chair, "Who's got drugs?"

Eddie looks to the floor and sees a cutie wittle muffin.

The muffin said, "You used to be fun before you started smoking pot, Eddie. I miss my best friend. I thought friendship was your anti-drug? I thought we would be friends forever? I love you Eddie!"

Eddie screamed, "…. HOLLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN! AAHHHHHHHHHH!"

Now both Eddie and Brodi are running around the room and screaming like little women.

A distant voice coming from the chimney yelled, "I'm baaAAaack!"

Everyone screamed, "AHHHHH!"

Marisol ordered, "Someone put Luther's fat ass in front of the fireplace!"

It took Moby, Psymon, J.P., Mac, Elise, and Zoe to push Luther's sobing fat ass. They eventually pushed him and clogged the gapping hole of the fireplace with his morbidly obese ass.

Brodi runs by, "AHHHHH!" he stops, "That wasn't nice guys…." And then starts running again, "O GOD MY CROTCH IS BURNING SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE!"

Zoe asked, "Did you guys hear anything?"

Elise said, "Nope."

Eddie started licking a window, "mmmm it tastes like purple…"

Rahzell walks in zipping his pants, "Think of anything yet?"

Moby said, "Kind of." And then a Staletto hits Moby, "O GOD MY OTHER EYE!"

Eddie begins to do kart wheels.

Psymon said, "Someone get this kid club music and knee pads."

Zoe yelled, "Fuck you Psymon, it was the first time I did E!"

Moby and Psymon laughed, "Hahahaha," while pointing at Zoe.

Rahzell sees Luther clogging the fireplace, "Damn," then unzips pants, "well I got some chimneys to crap in. I mean, papers to crap on. He then leaves.

Eddie asked, "….. Like who are you people?"

Elise whispers to Zoe, "He had bad hash…"

Mac said, "Yo dawg you know us. You LIVE with us yo."

Eddie said, "O right your Roseanne, Tim, Bill, Uncle Jesse, and Carlton."

Psymon said, "That's the nick at night lineup."

Eddie asked, "Mercury, Venus, Jupitor, Neptune, and Pluto?"

Psymon said, "Those are planets…except Pluto …"

Eddie tried again, "Blue, Yellow, Red, green, purple?"

Psymon said, "Those are colors."

J.p. stops looking in mirror and notices something in his pants. He looks down, "O my God! Ze appachee indians are back! They are pitching tee pees in my pants!"

Marisol springs into action, "I'll get 'em!" then beats his crotch with a lead pipe frantically.

Little inch tall indians run out of J.P.'s pant leg.

Seeiah said, "Wow… did not see that coming… they look like little rats."

Little indians run up Seeiah's pant leg.

Marisol said, "Hold still girl I'll get 'em!"

Seeiah stopped her, "NO WAIT! … I liiike 'em…"

Little indians run back out screaming.

Kaori screams, "EEEEEKKK Little indians!" They start chasing Kaori around the room with little mini hotdogs.

Then Kaori trips and falls out a window. The indians run into a mouse hole. Re-enter Kaori.

Brodi yelled, "I NEED WATER FOR MY CROTCH YOU STUPIDASS PEOPLE!"

Zoe asked, "Did you hear something?"

Elise said, "Still no…," then starts flipping through a magazine.

Eddie asked, "Viva, Pro V, Head & shoulders, Panteen, and V8?"

Psymon answered, "Those are shampoos…"

Kaori exclaimed, "Mac! Would you like to see my artwork?"

Mac said, "No."

Kaori: Ok I'll show you. This one is old Greg, and this one I call old Greg. And then this I call old Greg.

Mac: Eww, their gross yo, forreal.

Kaori said, "You are sooo sweet," she giggles, "Would you like to do watercolors, you and I?"

Mac yelled, "Hell no foo."

Kaori said, "Ok I go get them!"

Eddie said, "Star, People, O, Cosmopoliton, and OK!"

Psymon said, "Those are magazines."


	3. Chapter 3

[One more time, excuse my horrible f**king grammer and writing style. Script form is apparently 'frowned upon' on so I had to change it.] Zoe sighed, "This is fucking pathetic…"

Mac said, "Yo we should beat this guys ass for makin' us do this bull shiznit."

Rahzell entered not wearing pants, "Your all losers. You all should just board with paper bags on your heads for now on."

Moby said, "You probably couldn't even beat your way out of a paper bag mate."

Psymon said, "He probably couldn't even beat up the paper bag."

Que paper bag flying into Rahzells face.

Rahzell screamed, "AHHHHH! I'm suffocating!"

Marisol asked, "So what should we do now?"

Elise said, "Probably make you stop talking for good and get Eddie off the kitchen counter."

Eddie kneeled on kitchen counter, "Where the hell are my knee pads? I have kart wheels to do!"

Marisol suggested, "Everybody just needs to loosen up!"

Psymon said, "I have a feeling your loose enough for all of us."

Marisol asked, "What?"

Psymon yelled, "I said fuck you bitch!"

Marisol said, "Oh ok!"

Brodi screamed, "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? I HAVE BEEN RUNNING IN CRICLES FOR THE PAST HOUR NOW! GET SOME FUCKING WATER OR SAND OR SOMETHING!"

Seeiah said, "Get it yourself fool. You and your magic fire not spreading and what not…"

Brodi said, "…true…..," then runs away.

Rahzell was still on the floor wrestling paper bag.

Mac said, "Yo I'm gunna make pancakes yo."

Kaori asked, "Why?"

Mac pointed angrily at Kaori's face, "….Because foo!"

Eddie falls off counter.

Eddie said, "Wow, I believe the extreme impact to my frontal lobe caused a counter reaction with th-"

Mac slams a frying pan on Eddies head.

Mac apologized, "Oops, sorry dog."

Eddie said, "Dammit Cartman! That like…hurt! Why don't you, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny like… go away."

Psymon yelled from the living room, "Those are the characters from South Park!"

Brodi cried out, "Help! Now I'm trapped beneath this giant sand pile I used to put out the fire on my crotch!"

Elise asked, "Where in the hell did you find sand?"

Brodi said, "Oh now you can hear me… bitch!"

Elise turned around, "Then fuck it, your staying there."

Eddie runs into the living room, jumps over the couch and through the glass coffee table.

Eddie yelled, "This is not a portal!"


End file.
